I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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