if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
