Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
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