My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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