That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
