On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
