if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
