DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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