yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Such a big mess for such a small penis
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
