I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize