Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
it's great music for shaving your balls
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
