Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Randomize