last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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