I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
