8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
