white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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