Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
