Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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