Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
