And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
