____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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