I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
