I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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