I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize