Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
