I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
