he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
