He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
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