I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
