Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
