will power is for people who don't want to get laid
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize