also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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