remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
