C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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