it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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