marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
