No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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