This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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