I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
