You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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