Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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