that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
