wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
