Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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