She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I just cut my nipple shaving
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Randomize