so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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