Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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