i'm signing you up for texting rehab
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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