i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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