just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Randomize
