i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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