I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
