It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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