I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
