Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
