Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize