The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
