How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
