you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
