he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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