He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Randomize
