Screwed.edu
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
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