He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
