So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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