Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Randomize
