I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
