I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
