He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
