We're facebook friends in real life
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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