I love black thongs
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
