I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
