It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
