I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
